


What would you choose if everything’s different?

by VanyKruemelPendragon



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon Needs a Hug (Merlin), BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Bisexual Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Bisexual Merlin (Merlin), Canonical Character Death, Eventual Happy Ending, Evil Uther Pendragon (Merlin), F/M, Family Fluff, Father Merlin, Father-Daughter Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Gwen and Arthur never happened, Gwen is a godsend, Homophobia, It's Uther, King and King of Camelot, Law Changes, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Magic Revealed, Male-Female Friendship, Mentions of Pregnancy, Merlin Needs a Hug (Merlin), Merthur - Freeform, Mutual Pining, No beta reader, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Merlin, Slurs, So nobody important, Unplanned Pregnancy, Uther Bashing, at least in the past, cursing, eventually, first there's a lot of, graphic description of violence in chapter five, hurtful words, kind of, magic-phobia, no it's not mpreg, triggerwarnings in chapter five
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:47:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27695780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VanyKruemelPendragon/pseuds/VanyKruemelPendragon
Summary: It’s about time Merlin and Arthur confessed. Not that it’s easy or anything, with hatred for magic and homosexuality. But to make it even harder Uther gives the order to kill every druid because he somehow heard that they could have saved his wife. And he never was very clear when it came to Ygritte. An order that not only involves but includes Merlin’s family… Will his decision still be to stand with his prince?
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Original Female Character (Arthurian)
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, listen. First, I get it. They're meant to be. That doesn't mean they're blushing virgins, alright?  
> Also, not a huge fan of Mpreg (it has to be VERY well explained and let's be honest, most aren't - I loathe A/B/O so, nope). BUT! I wanted them to have a child. To raise one. A reason besides Gwen whispering in his ear why he should legalize magic right this instant. Giving Merlin a baby was a great way of doing that and I just love how he's basically thinking he needs to help absolutely everyone.  
> So. Enjoy?

Title: What would you choose if everything’s different?

Summary: It’s about time Merlin and Arthur confessed. Not that it’s easy or anything, with hatred for magic _and_ homosexuality. But to make it even harder Uther gives the order to kill every druid because he _somehow_ heard that they could have saved his wife. And he never was very clear when it came to Ygraine. An order that not only involves but includes Merlin’s family… Will his decision still be to stand with his prince?

Rating: Teen and Up

Pairing: Merthur – Merlin x Arthur; Merlin/OC

Warnings: boyslove, homophobic behaviour, bigotry, slur words

Genre: Romance, Hurt, Angst

Disclaimer: I don’t own Merlin. Not the legends, not the BBC show, nothing. I write this for fun and will give the characters back after I had some fun with them. I do, however, own Samisa and Clara.

* * *

**~*~*~ What would you choose if everything’s different? ~*~*~**

To say he was surprised to hear from the druid girl he helped in the woods a few months ago was probably an understatement. The blonde girl, woman, whatever, had the most stunning green eyes, like fresh leaves on a tree, remembering him of the forest around his home, the forest he met his father, the clearing he usually met the dragon.

Kilgharrah was proud as ever but still grateful to be free again and having him soar through the skies while standing in a calm world, in pure nature, was an amazing feeling. So, with the reminder of that when their eyes first met, Merlin couldn’t help but assist her in hiding, sending her to a hidden druid post not far away.

So when the letter materialised late in the night, waking him with a slight humming sound and asked him to come see her, the surprise was huge. After all, she had been the one to tell him that a love between them wasn’t possible, not without him risking his life. Like he would have for Freya many moons ago he would have stayed by her side until the very end. Not because of love, no. His heart sadly belonged to someone who didn’t feel the same way, _at all_. But because when they slept together it felt as if he owed her that.

While on his journey, his thoughts wandered back to that night a few times, cursing the mood-lightening magic he used to make her feel better. It affected him too, more like alcohol probably could but without forgetting anything. So when he apologized profusely, she told him the truth about her partner that died, how they never consummated their holy union because of their forced hiding. Merlin in turn told her about his heart, weighing heavy in his chest, about the obnoxious boy he met, about how the idiot prince became his first and last thought every day. About his magic and the laws in Camelot, how they could never be lifted as long as the king was alive. After a nice and calm silence he also told her about his destiny, about the dragon’s words. Clara mentioned her clan being murdered, not knowing why, having her mother send her away with a few younger kids and her partner. She sobbed about not being able to save any of them when a few knights found them, killing the children fast and brutal while the captured older girls took their own lives in fear of being forced to lay with anyone.

How the sorcerer had tears in his eyes when he heard her tell the story, about her hiding unable to do anything, not having any chance to save them because it was a new moon and her clan were nature druids like most, dependant on something in the wild for their powers. So she fled and hid, begging for mercy from the gods themselves only to stumble upon him.

 _Emrys._ The most powerful sorcerer in a few centuries. Somehow, she laughed, she couldn’t picture the awkward gangly guy as the prophesized mage, with his soft smile and sweet demeanour. Asked if he was sure about his name, that he wasn’t just a druid, because how could someone so genuinely nice be a wizard that would change all their lives forever?

It made him smile to think about himself saying that, yes, he asked the same thing and how it shouldn’t be him, to think about her hand cupping his face with gentle hands and kissing him. To think about her words, how he’s surely capable of it when it’s destined, because destiny never made errors.

It kept him occupied on the long walk before he stepped into the magic wards and greeted everyone with a bow.

“You came.”

The smile wide on his lips, je turned to the sound of her breathless laugh.

“Of course I came, Clara. I promised, didn’t I? That if you ever needed my help, I’d do my best?” The green eyes twinkled with joy but after hugging her he watched closer, saw the tiredness. “Are you alright, though? You look a little tired.”

Laughing, she clapped on his shoulder.

“You would look tired to after going into labour and having a newborn that doesn’t sleep that long.”

His brow furrowed, trying to comprehend her words.

“So you found a partner, after all? I mean, you once said you wouldn’t and…”

Her hands clasped his, gentle as he remembered.

“You’re not here to apologize to someone for taking my virtue, don’t worry. In fact, you’re actually here because of the baby.”

Smiling softly she walked to her tent and came out with a bundle in her arms, content and happy, strength emanating from her.

“Merlin, may I introduce to you, Samisa.” Her eyes looked up and found his. “Your daughter.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uther's a bitch

It so happened that Merlin was more often out of town now, but nothing else changed. Not on the outside at least.  
Arthur noticed his manservant becoming more and more mature, less silly jokes, more depth. He once saw him gently reprimand a child in the kitchens where he himself would have burst with anger. The boy, son of one of the kitchen maids, had taken a slice from the banquet cake for the king’s birthday, a thing his hands would be chopped off by his father if he knew.  
Merlin? Well, he sat down with the boy, hands still covered in icing and told him calmly how he can’t do anything like it. It’s dangerous and, more importantly, very impolite. How would he feel if his birthday cake got ruined?  
Surprisingly, besides fixing the cake himself – Arthur let him, he had something different to do with Gwaine on short notice – the boy became more polite than before, genuinely bowing in front of him, never raising his voice like before.  
Since when was his useless – okay, not in his head, but still – manservant actually able to handle a child?  
Maybe he should inquire about that. Maybe…  
“Merlin. I need to talk to you.”  
Shrugging the brunette stood up and left Arthur’s boots behind.  
“What is it, sire?”  
He rolled his eyes.  
“Really. I’ve told you already, if you use the correct term, at least don’t be sarcastic.”  
The sorcerer laughed.  
“Can’t promise that, sire.”  
Following nonetheless he soon sat down on the table in Arthur’s chambers, after being asked to.  
“You’re… different”, his prince started, nervous. “More mature. Calmer. Quieter. Has anything happened?”  
A soft smile sat on his lips when he answered the question, shaking his head slightly.  
“You always told me to become more responsible, haven’t you? I’m just trying to be the most helpful I can be to you.”  
Arthur shook his head.  
“Don’t. You don’t behave differently around Gwaine. Or any of them. Just around me. Why?”  
The brunette stopped smiling and it nearly broke his heart seeing that change.  
Merlin stood in front of a challenge now. Tell the truth about his daughter? No way. Tell the truth about sorcery? No. Wouldn’t explain his behaviour either. Lie? Unfortunately, Arthur always noticed when he lied to him, nearly as bad as Gaius.  
“It’s nothing, I…” He stopped, looking into the blue eyes in front of him. “I just…” Frustrated – he just couldn’t lie very well, okay – he took in every feature of his future king, trying to read him, to have his gaze glued to the others’ lips.  
A flick of eyes the blonde noticed, of course. Carefully he lad his hand on the brunette’s cheek, moving his thumb over the cheekbone with a ghostly touch.  
When no protest came, just a curious, hopeful look, he cut the distance with a kiss, chaste and soft, without any pressure.  
“I’m sorry”, he murmured after letting go, having gotten no response. “I wanted to do that for a long time already. Please, forgive me for assuming…”  
Lips crashed into his, stopping his apology and making him gasp. This kiss wasn’t chaste or sweet but sent shivers down his spine, electric bolts through his body.  
“Me too. I mean”, Merlin stumbled with a shaky breath. “I love you.”  
They kept going in private, from then. Secret whispers, stolen kisses, nights spent together in the wide bed of the princes’ chambers. Hushed ‘I love you’-s floating between them, promises and probably a few of the best months Arthur ever knew.  
If he’d known that finally gathering the courage to kiss his manservant, not caring about the rules or law, would bring him said servant’s heart and love, he’s have done so way earlier. But for now, all was okay.

Or, it was until his father sent for him one afternoon.  
“Son. Arthur. I have a mission for you. I know you will protest at first, so please let me explain it all. You will understand.”  
Carefully schooled features, he listened. Listened to his father ranting about magic - what’s new – and the evil doings, about his life and the law and rules.  
“When you were born…”, he then whispered, making all attention of the blonde focus on his father. They never talked about it. “Ygraine didn’t die instantly. She was sick for a few days. I… sent word out for healers, of any kind. I even begged the nearby living druids to heal her. They said they couldn’t and left their place… A few days ago… I heard word in town, of a midwife who travels around, of the druid who healed her patient after being sick. After… Suffering the same fate your mother did.”  
The prince swallowed hard.  
“She died, then? I mean, it’s sad, but if they couldn’t help her, then…”  
“No!”, Uther boomed. “They healed her instead! She’s alive.”  
Blinking, the realization sank in.  
“Mother… could have lived?”  
“Yes!”  
Now furious the kind began walking in circles. “If I’d only known then, I would have been more persistent, forced them to help. They refused and let her die. That’s murder. That’s why… I want you to take revenge on them. Find them. Find the druids who refused me. Kill everyone else and bring them here. I want to make them suffer like your mother did.”  
His heart beat fast when the blue eyes tracked his father, lips opened.  
“Are… you sure? I mean…”  
“The rest is guilty of using magic. Dark magic that killed your mother in the first place, the curse that befell her. No one using magic should be allowed to breathe, for they didn’t have mercy on an innocent woman like her.”  
“But father…”  
Cold eyes stared at the prince.  
“Arthur, it wasn’t a request. It’s an order. Go and take revenge or I will send someone else to do it while you think over why you’d refuse this. In the dungeons.”  
His mouth clicked shut and he bowed his head.  
“Yes, your majesty.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hell breaks loose

The sorcerer was over the moon. Finally he could be brave anough, he could show his prince his feelings. When they were alone, at least. He also had a _daughter_ , a little girl he could call his own. She had her mother’s blonde locks and his blue eyes and, by now he was quite sure, his ears, too. The nose was her mothers’ though.

And she was already 19 months, 19 full moon circles alive, bringing joy to everyone who saw her running through the camp. Well. Toddling. Real running wasn’t possible yet but he was there by chance when she suddenly got up and started walking two very shaky steps. He caught her before she fell, swooping her up and pressing his nose to her neck, breathing in the already so strong forest-y smell of druid magic. Strong one. She was like him, like the druids, born with magic without being able to do anything against it and again he wondered how anyone could hate someone so precious. The rumours in Camelot were getting more though, saying that Uther was going mad, saying he was trying to actively rot out magic now. And if he was completely honest, the first time in his life he was _terrified._

No wonder that when the smoke of his candle formed to a raven, his blood ran cold. It was an alert signal he taught Clara, in case he ever needed to come as quick as possible. She had a talisman, an anchor that made him – after experimenting a lot with portal magic – able to get there in mere seconds.

_“Knights of the king are here. The wards are broken. Please help us.”_

He probably never acted this fast in his life. Of course he heard the rumours but nobody said anything. Arthur didn’t say anything about it. Nobody was _sure_.

The portal stood within minutes, time running out with every drop of sweat that drenched his tunic. But when he stepped through, inside of the caves in the center, a sob left his lips before he could keep it in.

Bodies of the clan, of _his family’s clan_ , lay everywhere. It was a new moon, so the powers were weak or not working at all. Which was when one loud shrilling thought overwhelmed everything else. _Samisa_.

Merlin ran through the camp, nearly getting seen twice before he found Claras’s tent and stumbled into the direction.

“ _Merlin?!”_

When he heard the voice, he wanted to drown, to stop the shaking his body started. Taking a shaky deep breath he looked to the group of knights.

“Arthur?”

“What the hell are you doing here, you fool! I thought I told you to clean my training gear? Have you followed us?”

Oh, Arthur. Naïve and still not believing he would be anything else than his stumbling ~~boy~~ friend. Someone incapable of doing anything heroic, but also incapable of doing anything wrong, per se. And maybe his feelings were clouding his judgement, too. He _trusted_ him after all.

“I could ask the same thing. How the noble prince of Camelot came to kill innocents?” Children? He needed to get to that tent and if that meant breaking all ties with the love of his life, so be it. If he had actually _hurt_ … No, no. Arthur wouldn’t just kill an innocent child, he wouldn’t… Kill… Innocents? “Or did your father manage to poison your brain until it can’t be used anymore to form a rational thought?”

Angry.

Arthur spluttered, face getting red with rage.

“These people use _magic_ , something that’s forbidden by law. Death is the punishment for it. And while they used their tricks for themselves, they refused to help or come when my father sent word for help. To help my mother.”

Ah. Ygraine. His mother was always a boiling point for the prince.

Merlin laughed, bitterly. The blonde wasn’t sure what had happened, but this… This wasn’t the merlin he was used to.

“Ah, and you think punishing every single clan will help? Will bring her back? You think the clan Uther asked would have come after he banned magic with death threats because she fell ill in the first place? I don’t know exactly what happened, but I know for sure that they would have died, had they answered. You think that’s fair? That it’s fair to kill innocents? Just because they are born with magic? Well. I have news for you. I’m…”

“Daddy?”, he heard a tired voice from the tent, his head whipping around.

There stood his daughter, not even terrified in front of the knights, their swords suddenly on her. Before he could think about it the sorcerer ran to her, blocking her from the swords, fists balled.

“Nobody’s gonna hurt you, honey…”, he murmured calmly when she clasped her hands on his trousers.

“Step aside, Merlin. If the child is born with magic, it should die.”

Against his thought about how Merlin would react, a sword close to his throat, he was calm. Very calm. And maybe he imagined it, but did those blue eyes, the eyes of his friend, his servant… His crush… Turn gold? Trick of light probably, but he’s never seen him this angry either. Arthur wasn’t used to the cold dark look on the beloved face, maybe that was why…

He steadied his arm that had started to sink.

“You try to hurt my daughter, you’ll be the one to die. Don’t test me, Arthur.”

The sword nearly clattered to the ground with the speed Arthur let it sink, his blood running cold.

“Your… What?” Flashes of their nights together went through his head, of Merlin telling him how much he loved him. “You have a child?”, he asked, swallowing hard. “But what about…”

Merlin’s gaze hardened.

“About us? I don’t want to hurt you, I meant every word I said. But if you try to hurt my child I will not hesitate.”

The few knights around them gasped but were completely ignored.

“How can you have a child? With a dirty druid no less?” The blonde stepped closer. “Were you forced to…?”

A hollow laugh left the sorcerer’s throat.

“Are you kidding me? Will you ever understand that the hatred your father fed you with is useless and wrong, that _he’s_ the problem?” Shaking his head, his voice broke. “I thought you finally saw the truth when I kissed you. When you kissed me _first_ , even. Aren’t men who prefer men also supposed to be killed, like everyone practising magic? Do you remember what you asked me?”

The prince let his head fall down, looking to the ground.

“How can it be wrong when it feels so right? But… It’s different, magic is evil and…”

“So I’m evil, then?”

By the speed his head snapped up, Arthur should have broken his neck.

“What are you talking about? Fine, you slept with a girl who’s a druid. I’m sure you didn’t know and had to take responsibility, but you must see that magic is bad. No matter how old someone is.”

Every last bit of sadness and hurt disappeared from Merlin’s eyes, the hand in his child growing tighter.

“You say magic is evil, yet it’s the same hate and bigotry that made the laws against homosexuality. You say you’re father is right about magic, but not about men or women who love their own gender? You say it’s fine as long as it does concern your own pleasure? Well, I have news for you. It does both concern you. I’m a sorcerer, too.”

He nearly spat the words, full of hatred and anger. Arthur stepped back as if he had been slapped, mouth opening and closing but never saying a word.

A smile, nearly a smirk that didn’t reach his eyes though, spread on merlin’s face.

“Sire. If you’ll excuse me.”

He turned around taking Samisa up on his hip. It was only then that one of the knights, one of Uther’s, not Arthur’s, started to stand in his way again, sword lifted.

“You’re a filthy wizard and you actually admitted to preferring men?” He spat in front of his feet. “Disgusting. You should be slaughtered like a pig and hanged for everyone to see. Just wait until the king hears about you destroying his son’s virtue. You and your bastard.”

Arthur wanted to say something but he still couldn’t do anything but stare as Merlin turned around again, setting the girl down after checking the rest of the knights. Stare as his eyes became golden, more obvious this time, stare as he whirled around, stare as a lightning bolt in bright electric blue left his hand, stare as said bolt hit the knight’s chest and made him collapse with a choking sound.

His knights instantly threw their swords to the ground, staring at their friend, at Merlin. Gwaine swallowed hard.

“I’m sorry, Merlin. You know I would have protected you.”

A sad smile washed over the sorcerer’s features.

“I know that, Sir Gwaine. I know that you wouldn’t harm me, my daughter or anyone else if you wouldn’t risk getting killed or exiled yourselves.” One of Uther’s knights tried to throw his sword, only to be pierced by it with a mere flick of Merlin’s hand. “Anyone of the king’s knights though? You lift only one finger and I will end you.”

With a last look into Arthur’s eyes, foggy and wet and so blue it seemed like an endless ocean, the brunette sighed.

“I’m sorry you had to find out like this, for what it’s worth…”

He took his daughter, who was silent the whole time, up again and turned around. Curses broke out in the ranks of his father’s men, defences from his friends. Arthur… Just stood still.

The prince only noticed he was crying when Gwaine put a handkerchief into his hand.

“You knew?”

“Of course I knew. I may be arrogant sometimes, but I’m not blind.”

Arthur swallowed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

A pointed look made the blue eyes look to the ground again.

“I’m also not stupid. I knew something had changed between the two of you, but I figured you’d tell us eventually. I never assumed though, never thought he told you already. He was too anxious around you for that. So I figured that it’s… His secret to tell. It was. But… I’m sure of one thing.”

Carefully the blonde looked up.

“What?”

“He loves you. Always has, as long as I knew him.”

Taking a deep breath, he nodded and turned to his knights, his father’s knights.

“If anyone here feels obligated to tell my father what happened, I won’t stop you. But if you try to hunt him down, you will answer directly to me.”

* * *

just in case anyone here is curious like the friends who read it for criticism:

[here is a picture of how i imagined Samisa](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/f4/ae/5f/f4ae5ff05aadbbed27696586608d8740.jpg)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I know Merlin's not all powerful. But. He's pissed. And he IS able to do instinctive magic without spells.  
> And can we talk about how Samisa could easily be Arthur's child, too? ;)  
> AND I KNOW IT WAS LANCELOT WHO KNEW ABOUT THE MAGIC BUT I LOVE GWAINE AS A CHARACTER OKAY :D


End file.
